When I read Marilyn's first book, Questing Marilyn, I was expecting
a travel book. To my delight what I found instead was a deeply personal
account of Marilyn's first journey. Her insight into herself, her
challenges, her victories and her life spoke to me. It was a great
read and it was profoundly moving.
Marcia Barhydt, Willowtree, www.willowtree.ca
This is the first "self-help" book I have read that makes
sense, takes you through all the feelings we have all had at one
time or another and puts them into perspective. What made it exciting
reading was the travel tales that came with it. What a bonus! I
understood without learning. I loved the book and I am looking forward
to reading the next one. Thank you Marilyn for so much insight.
Review by: Christine Bailey www.profilecoaching.ca
I have to admit that I really didn't want to pick up Questing Marilyn.
My initial thought was; "a middle-aged therapist over analyzing
her mid life disappointments on a trip."
Into the first chapter, I immediately identified with Marilyn- mother,
wife, student, career woman and the challenges of meeting all of
the demands of these sometimes-conflicting roles. I shared her frustrations
at the role transition that modern women are attempting to play
out. Although blazing ahead, we still have spouses and family that
resent our independence and look down on our assertion for independence.
The launch into the trip grabbed my attention and I didn't stop
until the end of the book. The group dynamics of close confinement
in the van, rooming with a stranger, the conflicting power struggles
and passivity of the traveling companions all kept my interest all
through the book.
Review by: Jackie Ramler, CFP, MBA| Financial Advisor, author,
ON Canada www.jackieramler.com
"Marilyn has written a book that opens the world of real personal
growth to people who know that they feel different when they return
from a journey and yet they have no words to describe what this
feeling means.
Questing Marilyn: In Search of My Holy Grail is a very personal
(sometimes uncomfortably TOO personal) account of her journey. I
have always believed that the privilege of travelling into another
culture is a magical way to expand our own beliefs and horizons.
As a fellow traveller, I am envious of some of the places and events
that she has experienced.
The way Marilyn has created her book - the short and focused chapters
allow her readers to stop along the road with her to reflect and
look at our world through her eyes."
Review by: Susan Birkenshaw, Travelling Maverick, Toronto, Ontario
Canada
"This is not a self-help book. It is the documentation of a
personal journey starting in Canada, touring the British Isles and
Ireland, and ending up back in Canada. I would recommend this book
to anyone who perhaps can’t take a journey far from home. The
self-discovery that Marilyn experiences is inspiring and so very
detailed that it seems the reader is experiencing the journey with
her. She writes in such a way that I forgot that I was reading.
It felt more like I was having a dialogue with Marilyn herself.
I felt that her personality really came through in her writing;
she is the type of person I would love to sit down and have a cup
of coffee with just to hear her describe things. I was very impressed
with this book, and I’m very glad I got the opportunity to
review it because I don’t know if I would have picked it up
on my own. Marilyn has opened me up to whole new genera and for
that I am grateful. This is a medium sized book, about 350 pages;
it goes quickly, and I didn’t want to put it down."
Review by: Joslyn Sherry, 12/01/04 Joslyn Sherry was the first
place winner of the 2003 Fuller Fiction Awards and the third place
winner of the Savage Poetry Awards at Bloomsburg University of
Pennsylvania. She reviews for http://www.womenwriters.net/index.htm
"After years of taking care of others, registered marriage
and family therapist Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem found that she
had somehow forgotten to take care of herself. Suddenly, a busy
career, an active family and a full personal life could no longer
distract her from the difficult realization that something was
missing or, even worse, wrong.
Seeking a temporary respite from her everyday responsibilities,
she embarked on a journey to England and Ireland in search of
the legend and meaning of the Holy Grail, only to discover something
greater. In 'Questing Marilyn: In Search of My Holy Grail,' Belleghem
guides the reader through the complex physical and emotional journey
that prompted her rediscovery of herself and her raison d’être.
Pulling no punches – especially when evaluating herself
– Belleghem’s account is an insightful and honest look
at the struggles all women face at a certain point in life. In
particular, her experience is an excellent example of the largely
overlooked potential of achieving personal growth through travel.
Perhaps most gratifying to realistic readers, 'Questing Marilyn,'
does not attempt to offer a so-called solution to all of life’s
challenges, nor does it foster the misconception that any path
to self-discovery is either easy or instantaneous. Rather, by
sharing her personal growth experience and augmenting it with
her professional insight, Belleghem inspires readers to go in
search of their own 'holy grail.' "
Tori Van Orden Martínez, journalist, traveler see http://www.victoriahill.com/index.html
" 'Questing Marilyn' is a wonderfully written memoir which
all mothers and wives can relate to. It is amazing at how well
Marilyn strikes the common chord of the female psyche.
Marilyn does a wonderful job of keeping you turn the pages as
she ventures to discover her personal Holy Grail.
So often, the modern woman suffers from self-neglect. When fulfilling
our duties as wives and mothers, we soon forget about taking time
for ourselves. It is considered selfish and after reading Marilyn’s
book, you will learn it is okay, if not necessary, to take the
epic journey to find your own self.
We may not all be able to take a trip to Arthurian England, but
there are plenty of places around the world where a woman can
get away from her responsibilities and learn to fight the “ghosts”
of oppression and self-doubt. It was revealing to read how Marilyn
struggled, like most of us do, with expectations; expectations
that are often not met and frequently disappoint. The book offers
uncanny revelations to common experiences and emotions.
I found it touching in Marilyn’s discovery of fulfilling
her own personal needs; it could also be very lonely. The process
of finding your inner self can be an isolated place. But as Marilyn
demonstrates in her book, it is a place that every one should
attempt to visit.
After reading 'Questing' I felt as if I knew Marilyn; like she
was a next door neighbor. It was an enjoyable personal read I
would suggest to anyone searching for that something “amiss”
in their lives.
Jessica Samons Kutz, freelance writer, author, teacher, wife
and mother living in Florida, USA
"Questing Marilyn is a multidimensional book about the author's
travel experience to Britain and Ireland. The book begins as the
stressed out author realizes that despite her overachiever attempts
to have the perfect life (a loving family, a successful counselling
career, and a sturdy religious foundation) that something is missing
causing her to feel disconnected and ill content. In an attempt
to reconnect and find herself, the author joins a group of colleagues
and acquaintances on a tour of Britain and Ireland's sacred sites.
On this tour, the author is scheduled to visit sites such as
Salisbury Cathedral, Stonehenge, Glastonbury Tor, Glastonbury
Abbey, Avebury, Tintagel, Bath, Kilkenny Castle, and New Grange.
Furthermore, as part of this organized expedition, group tours,
hikes, and self-development rituals are to be undertaken at many
of these locations.
This book relays detailed information on the mythological, historical,
and spiritual significance of each stop of the tour while providing
unique insight into the accommodations, dining, shopping, and
sightseeing opportunities are available near these sites. As much
of the author's tour is specially organized, this information
contains a good deal of insight not commonly found in most tour
guides of Britain and Ireland.
Another important aspect of this book is that the author candidly
discusses the pros and cons of group tours by detailing her experiences
during this vacation. The reader can then use this information
to decide if he or she would be more suited to directed group
travel or more flexible individualized travel.
The most important message of this book, however, is the introduction
of travel as a tool towards self-exploration and self-acceptance.
Often, due to the busyness and chaos of daily life, individuals
don't have the luxury or time to truly understand who they are
and what they want from life. However, during a vacation, normal
routines and responsibilities can be temporarily forgotten. Thus,
vacation time is the perfect time to reflect on these very personalized
aspects of one's life, how he or she feels about that life, and
what they need to do to make his or herself happy. Moreover, this
analysis need not take place in Britain or Ireland. In fact, where
the reader's quest starts and ends is completely unique to that
individual.
Questing Marilyn: In Search of My Holy Grail, Personal Growth
Through Travel is a great book for both those individuals interested
in visiting the sacred sites of the United Kingdom and those individuals
searching for self-exploration and self-acceptance. This book
will make an excellent gift to yourself, to your best friend,
to your sister, to your daughter, or to your mother."
Author: Tami Brady M.A., Co-Dean of the School of Religion
and Spirituality, archaeological consultant, freelance writer
Calgary Alberta. Published October 1, 2004 http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/18931/111196
"Questing Marilyn is a memoir of one woman's journey to
seek the ever-illusive "SELF." Marilyn shares her journey
from Canada to England, Wales and Ireland as she visits known
places of self discovery-Stonehenge, Chalice Well, Glastonbury
Abbey and Tintagel. We move with her through her confusion, her
anger and her realization that her life is not what it seems.
We listen to her arguments in an effort to regain her composure
based on years of training and discipline only to watch it crumble
at her feet. Finally she emerges a stronger, wiser woman full
of "Self."
The location descriptions are vivid giving the reader a true sense
of being there. Armchair travelers will love the imaginary feeling
of the drizzle settling on their faces as they gaze at thousand-
year- old structures. The author mentions in one chapter that
she would like to become a good storyteller as she listens to
a local woman describe the beauty and superstition surrounding
her hometown. This reviewer feels that she has achieved this and
Questing Marilyn is an excellent example of her story telling
skill.
Each one of us is on our own personal quest to find our life's
purpose, our "soul", if you will. This book will give
readers some insight into one person's search and the conclusions
she draws. It will stimulate readers to look with earnest, travel
farther and dig deeper to find their own "Holy Grail."
Recommended to anyone on a quest.”
Allbooks Reviews "Shirley Roe" (Canada) Literary
Page
"Questing Marilyn was more like Questing Me! I am a singer-songwriter-actress,
and so many personal issues and emotions of my own were addressed
in her book. It was great to read about someone that experienced
many of the same feelings I have had and also to realize that
I was not the only one to be asking these questions. I can accept
that I shouldn't understand the personal makeup of other people
but why am I kept a secret from me? I have read many self help
books and done a lot of work on myself, but this book answered
so many of my questions. It also helped me see where things in
my past fit into making me the person I am now. It was like getting
a lot of personal counselling while I was totally engrossed in
the exciting storyline. In fact, I kept holding off reading the
last ten or so pages just because I didn't want the adventure
to end. What courage it must take to allow readers into your personal
life. I truly thank Marilyn for that because I found answers to
some of my questions.”
Reviewer: Debi Sander Walker from Mississauga, ON. Canada www.debisanderwalker.com
"The spirit of the book is powerful. Readers will be captivated
by the profound clarity and hard in-your-face questions that are
at once alarming and growth-producing. The author presents a striking
sense of Self that is unsettling, provocative and authentic.
Always relentless, sometimes painful and never absent is an undeniable
yet implicit theme of being true to Self. A constant attempt at
winning the clash between Self and the roles that threaten the
Self's needs, beliefs and values makes navigating the clash the
essence of the journey.
Questing Marilyn is an excellent resource for courses in Women's
Studies. Indeed, the author lays claim on the general through
a focus on the specific. Issues applicable to every woman are
in plain view. Belleghem is to be congratulated for transporting
the reader into her soul. Inviting, interesting and invaluable
are qualities that make this work a rare gem. I encourage holding
it up to the light of informed discussion."
Karen L. Westbrooks, Ph.D. is a former Professor of Graduate
Studies, licensed marriage & family therapist, author of Overcoming
Dysfunction, Low-Income Families: Activating Strengths and co-author
of Oral Histories of Non-Traditional Women Students: A Study of
Unconventional Strengths.
"All women over forty should read this book. It is frank
and honest and I feel as if the author has allowed me to read
the pages of her personal journal. Through this openness you share
Marilyn's journey as she visits the sacred places of England and
Ireland. As a woman this book makes you feel less alone because
it brings with it the realization that no matter where we are
in this world at some point after forty many of us go through
the same soul searching of our lives."
Jill George from Strathmore, Alberta Canada www.timefinderscoaching.net
"I enjoyed traveling along with Marilyn as she begins to
understand her own pathway and develop the strength to follow
it. It's a voyage of discovery. You may recognize the inner voices
in your own life. I know I did".
Mary Jane Howie, White Oaks Area (Peel/Halton) Commissioner,
Girl Guides of Canada, Athena Award Winner, Oakville, ON, CA 2004
and avid traveler with a passion for Rotary International's work
on eradicating polio in the world. www.girlguides.ca
/ www.rotary.org
"I enjoyed an intimate walk with Marilyn. She steps out
of her roles as wife, mother and healer, to explore meaning and
purpose in her life. She traveled to many of the places I would
love to visit. Everyone faces the dark night of their soul where
they face their shadow side. Marilyn's Quest gives hope that within
the darkness lies the light of the soul, which shines through
the outer trappings, to give courage to others who face the same
journey. Her reconnection with her Higher Self reaffirmed her
ability to hold on to inner happiness."
Heather McKechnie, M.S.W., RSW RMFT, Past President of the
Ontario Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the Registry
of Marriage and Family Therapists in Canada, Inc.
"This is a very courageous piece of work. Marilyn has looked
at herself and faced issues that she felt needed attention. Her
courage in sharing this journey with her readers is indeed commendable
and I personally found it helpful, interesting and most readable.
I also enjoyed Marilyn’s reflections on the countryside as
she went around England. My husband Bern and myself have done
a great deal of travelling and lead tours to many places on the
globe. So this book not only is about an inward spiritual journey
but also an outward geographical journey!
Thank you Marilyn."
Pauline Barrett M.S.W., RMFT, Approved Supervisor AAMFT, has
practiced in Canada for four decades.
"I really enjoyed this book and had trouble putting it down.
So much of what Marilyn went through was a mirror image of my
life. I was also brought up to please, to be the peacemaker and
responsible for things going smoothly. Deep down I always felt
something was wrong with this picture but until middle age was
unable to see clearly.
Marilyn is a very strong and courageous lady and I admire her
openness in allowing us to view the steps that led her to the
point she is now. I learned a lot about myself from her book and
suggest that any woman over 40 would garner a great deal from
reading this wonderful autobiography."
Reviewer: Shirley Kossowski, Hypnosis Works from Burlington,
ON
"When an author allows the reader to follow along with them
and to really be able to experience what they experience, the
best way for me to describe this is as an Honour. Marilyn allows
the reader to travel along, through reading, on her personal Quest
to reconnect with her Higher Self. Through her descriptive writing
techniques, professional and personal insight, overwhelming honesty,
and beautiful pictures, Marilyn helped me to look at myself in
a different light. I have been inspired to continue to listen
to my inner voice and never forget the things that make me happy
to be me."
Debi Bruce from Newmarket, Ontario
Take a trip and find out more about you
'Who am I when I am free, who am I when I'm not so busy being
busy?'
By Brent Lawson
The Hamilton Spectator
Your travels can be a passport to personal growth, says author
and relationship guru Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem.
Many wander through life lacking a sense of adventure or purpose.
But new experiences, places and people can provide a fresh perspective
that may offer a first step.
The temporary freedom from responsibilities that travel offers
can open up opportunities for contemplation and introspection
that are hard to come by in our normal busy lives.
In her book, Questing Marilyn: In Search of My Holy Grail, a
journey through England and Ireland is a metaphor for the process
of change, and provides the opportunity to discover "who
am I when I am free, who am I when I'm not so busy being busy."
The Burlington counselling and marriage therapist said a common
response to the book is that "it's like going on a trip and
having therapy sessions."
Others find themselves taking stock of their lives after reading
the book and using it as a springboard for positive change.
"At the centre of a woman's life is the quest to discover,
speak and live her own truths, to cease living a life dictated
and defined by others -- that is, a life lived in another person's
story."
Many women begin to search for deeper meaning as their children
become more independent and no longer require all their time and
energy.
"We make a nest and we nurture in that nest."
But once the main thrust of that responsibility passes, questions
may arise about the meaning and purpose of life.
"A lot of women go through this, and a lot of marriages
end at the 20- to 25-year mark."
In part, that occurs because while women are seeking more meaning,
and their husbands are still busy climbing the career ladder.
But a life-altering event such as layoffs and downsizing can
kick-start a similar process for males, as many are forced to
reconsider what is lasting and important in their lives.
Travel can be a route to self-awareness and a way to confront
our expectations in life.
Your journey may be geographical and spiritual; some parts will
be rewarding, others disappointing. But Belleghem says often it
is our expectations that are off-kilter.
A greater sense of self-awareness can help us to see life's events
more clearly, and can also help to overcome our fear of change.
Her advice on how people should try to approach their lives?
"With adventure."
You can find out more at the www.questpublishing.ca website.
Does someone inspire you? Someone who has overcome challenges?
Contact Brent Lawson at blawson@thespec.com
or call 905-526-2463.
Questing Marilyn ~ An eBook Review
by "amazedwithyou" on Bukisa
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